For many families in Kabul, the arrival of the Taliban on the outskirts of the city was the final sign of the Taliban’s total control of the country. Despite the air of panic and tension everywhere, shops and offices remained open in the first week of August. But gradually everything started to open later in the day or not at all; people came to work in smaller numbers with unannounced absences while senior staff and civil servants began to make excuses for their absence. Prices went up in the bazaar as people started to panic buy from the stall holders and shopkeepers still trading.
As the Taliban physically entered Kabul on August 15th, going straight to the Presidential Palace to take symbolic control of the country and announce itself as the new government, many people either tried to leave the city in any manner available to them or just went into hiding.
Young single women like ‘Mubina’ (name and personal details have been changed to protect her identity) who is a university graduate and worked alongside Afghans and internationals alike, were torn between protesting for their rights and demanding careers on one hand and the traditional obligations of family on the other. Many such women decided to stay in Kabul for a mixture of these reasons.
This is the summarised diary of one single woman in Kabul, giving insights into her thoughts and fears, insightful observations, strength and resilience
October- First Week: The days of the week have lost their names; one day seems like another. I am a prisoner in my own house with an uncertain future and a head full of negative and eerie thoughts. Every day that passes makes me feel less visible and less like a human being. I have no goals, no sense of achievement when I was once a workaholic (as my mother called me).
I feel surrounded by bad news with an increasing tension about security – which part of town is possible to get to today. The bombings in Kabul and elsewhere claimed by Daesh are trying to create fractures between Shias and Sunnis where there were no divisions before amongst my generation. There is growing talk about a possible civil war if banks stay closed, salaries are not paid and businesses cannot borrow or pay loans. All these seemed incredible to me and difficult to accept as the bitter truth. I try to keep a routine of house work, checking my phone and emails, but it is not enough.
October- Second Week: On 10th October, one of my friends called me to find out how I was as I had not been active on social media for a while. His uncle was a member of parliament and was now under house arrest; the Talib took away his weapons, armored vehicles, and other government-related. He told me that all government officials had to either surrender or have their weapons and vehicles taken away and were all being humiliated in public – Talibs would come to their house and verbally abuse them and threaten their neighbours not to cooperate with them.
A few days later, I was alone with my mother in our home, and suddenly my uncle called me and told me to lock all the doors and to not open it to anyone until my father and cousin returned home. Listening to his instructions and his tone, I was filled with terrifying thoughts. I bewilderedly asked him “What had happened? Is everything okay? Is there any threat concerning me?” He sighed and said “Relax, pull yourself together and listen carefully.” He told me that a 27-year-old man had just been brutally killed and butchered in his rented room by unknown men in my neighborhood. It is not clear yet why he was killed and by whom. In addition, he said that a 6 years old child family member has also been kidnapped from the nearby Kart-e -Parwan area. I thanked him for the call and hung up. However, hearing all this news I wondered if we would be the next victims and my family was in danger because of me. I ran around the house ensuring all the windows were closed, and locked all the doors. I then tried to calm down and slowly went into my mother’s room to check if she was alright. My mother noticed my paleness and that I was sweating, but she let me sit next to her without saying, while I was thinking how we could escape if we were attacked and what we could fight with if we could not escape.
October- Third Week: I learned that the young man who had been killed in my neighborhood had been working as a chef who used to work for the guesthouses here in Kabul. I felt unable to stand and was drowning in thoughts of what would happen to me since many people know I have worked previously with foreign colleagues. I felt trapped and needed to get away – I asked my older cousin to take me to my grandmother’s out of town. He saw how scared I was and didn’t ask for a reason and we just got into his car and left at 10 o’clock at night. On the way to her house we were stopped at a Talib check post where several other drivers were being shouted at, being asked to get out of their cars and having their mobiles checked. I immediately dropped my mobile phone under the seat and leaned back into my seat at the back of the car and began quietly praying. A young Talib leaned into the car and in a hoarse Pashtu voice was asking my cousin “Who are you? Where you are going? Where do you come from?!” He was shining his torch directly on my cousin’s face and was only speaking in Pashtu while staring at us both, my cousin could not reply in Pashtu but answered all his questions in Dari. The Talib was angry and shouted “Why don’t you speak Pashtu, are you not Afghan? Get out of the car now!” I jumped into their conversation and dared to speak in a broken Pashtu, on hearing me he let go of the car door and told us to go. Out of the rear window of the car, I could see other cars being stopped with drivers being asked to come out and hand over their phones. I reached under my seat, retrieved my phone and began to delete all phone numbers of government staff and foreign friends, after which I sighed with relief. My cousin was wondered that why I am smiling in a such situation. I chuckled and told him that “I have many former government’s senior staff phone numbers on my phone and I just I deleted them!”. He was mad at me that I took my smartphone with me but he smiled and was happy I could manage to delete all the sensitive data. The minute we were out of Kabul, the roads were quiet. All the usual stop overs where hot food, drink and fuel were usually available were either closed or almost empty.
October- Fourth Week: It was Sunday afternoon when my office supervisor called me in order to check whether I was in the country or not. He asked me to come to the office and hand in the completed files I had taken home from my last visit. He said the ‘Mullahs’ (meaning more conservative men) in the office are reporting on all the staff to the Taliban especially targeting the termination of all female staff. He has received communication that the Talib want to see proof that female staff are still in the country and working to stop them being sacked. I told him I would attend the office tomorrow but was confused at this request.
On October 31st I managed to go to my office and meet some auditors who were going through all our work papers. As I entered the supervisor’s office, I saw several armed men already talking with other staff, I looked down and sit on the couch. My supervisor introduced me to the armed men who stared at me suspiciously and was holding my academic record in his hand. When I saw that he was also holding my resume and other records in his other hand, I felt horrified and almost faint. He quietly asked my supervisor to get me to sign my attendance sheet and leave. I nodded in agreement, signed the sheets and quickly left his office in silence, not making eye contact with anyone – the closer I got to the exit the more I kept thinking that they will call me back any minute and detain me.
Having returned home safely, I began to go through the emails I need to delete and received a call from an unknown number. I answered it and heard a distorted voice I could not recognize and I dropped it. After a few minutes I received another call with no caller ID and a much clearer man’s voice said that his name is Omid and he is calling me from the American armed base in Doha and he was instructed by American military officials to check if I am interested in being evacuated from Kabul to Washington. On hearing this I was shocked and I recalled my uncle’s advise on these sorts of calls that most of them are bait to trap people. I directly thanked him and told him that I am not interested in leaving my country and appreciated their care and thoughts for me, but he insisted I listen to him and accept his proposed offer. I cut the call and went to share this with my cousin and father. I told them about the call and they were surprised and worried, telling me to not answer these calls again in the future. Then while we were still discussing this, he called again. This time my father answered the call in a harsh way and warned him to not call us again.
It is almost 100 days since the Talib took control of my country. I now have no office to attend or work, salary or even a purpose in life. October ends and leaves me with daily worries over the security of myself and my family especially with Daesh becoming more active, uncertain job and income prospects, a shortage of money with dwindling savings and no access to the banks when the daily cost of goods in the bazaar are still rising once again. We are still better off than in 1999/2000, but not for long if more people become unemployed and crime begins to increase – I am not sure the Talib can provide the necessary security and Afghans will have to fend for themselves once again.
